http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpUC45vugdY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPIVrW8gRGg&feature=player_embedded

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I'm so tired but can't fall asleep tonight. For various reasons, the Middle East conflict is on my mind again. I laid the book I was trying to focus on reading to the side and sat up in bed. 

My five year old nephew fast asleep next to me stirred and mumbled under his breath before falling quiet again. His rhythmic breathing soothed me as I gazed at his beautiful innocent face peacefully asleep. He really is one of the cutest kids I know. I half-smiled thinking how he'd came running into my room in his adorable pj's, pleading if he could sleep in my bed tonight. Children are so precious. 

Then I thought of the thousands of innocent babies who suffered in Gaza. The countless families torn apart, their helplessness frustration pain and suffering is unbearable to me. I'm passionate about many things but the Palestinians' cause is especially close to my heart. I think myself to be an open-minded, non-judgmental, and reasonable person, but when I think of their strife, my reason threatens to fly out the window as sheer helplessness overcomes me.

I know fault lies with both sides, just as I know if there is to be any semblance of peace, it will have to come from both sides. What makes my heart dissolve into one dull, incessant ache is knowing the gross injustices that have occurred and are still occurring. 

Oblivious to the tears I close my eyes and wait for the pain to subside. 

Ya'Allah, have mercy on the Falasteen.. ease their suffering and grant them freedom.

Baby It's All Good (2008)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfKyZkt4SNs

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What do you see when you look at me
Do you see someone imprisoned or someone free
some people can only look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair
Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am oppressed and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Relieved that they at least would remain 'free'

Except free isn't exactly the word I would use
to describe women who are degraded and abused
Some think that I lack opinions or voice
That the chadar on my head isn't my choice
They think that this hood is my clothed cage
That my oppressors would else be outraged
Little do they know of the battle that was waged

It's written in history, turn the page.
So they glance about surreptiously, with blinders on
unable to comprehend whats misunderstood or unknown
Even wanting to reach out, some pull back in fear
Evoking pity in my heart at the values they hold dear

They say my face is my passport to freedom
Guide me ya'Allah, I will not heed them
If my chadar is my prison, then may I never be free
Those who can look well will witness eternal beauty.

Outer beauty fades with hardships and time
Wrinkles embed faces, mazes sublime
A hundred stories told in every line
We will become old, frail and in need
Perhaps realization will strike, in the heart plant a seed
if nurtured and cared for, the seed may grow
Perpetuate understanding and acceptance sow

The intelligent ones are attracted by tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they too were free
To have the willpower to do what they know is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
So I choose to travel the path less traveled
Even if it is fraught with stones and pebbles
For the destination I desire I know it is right
And hope there are others inspired by my sight
I am respected despite what you do not see
yes, Alhamdullilah I am liberated and free.

(revised from original 'Baby, It's All Good' 1.2010)

Waiting to Exhale.

When you have to hold fast with both hands for fear of losing something, it is not meant to be yours. When you forget God and change yourself to please others, you will also be forgotten. And when anyone can exercise power over your state of mind, thats when you are no longer your own person. Stand for something or fall for anything. 

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I turned off the tv, set the remote control on the coffee table, and leaned against the couch. Closing my eyes, I tried to block the images from my mind. I could sense the palpable anguish fear and heartache as if I were there myself. Bodies of loved ones buried in the rubble.. an entire city reduced to nothing. So much devastation and destruction... so much suffering. 

Ya'Allah, have mercy. 

Brushing my hands raggedly across my face, I rose. I could feel the walls closing in around me.

Shuddering, I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my heartbeat to slow down. The ability to acutely empathize is a mixed blessing. It's strange how we feel so much sometimes but cannot say a word. 

Allah (swt) warns us we will be tested. 

Be sure We will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits of your toil, but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity,'To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from Allah and mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. [Qur'an 2:155-157]

May He grant the patience wisdom strength and courage to pass these tests. 

Allah created angels with reason & no desires, animals with desires & no reason, & man with both reason & desires. So if a man's reason is stronger than his desire he is like an angel, & if his desires are stronger than his reason, then he is like an animal.

~said by Qatadah reported by Ibn Qayyim

www.submission.org

http://www.youtube.com/user/CompleteQuran#p/u/0/WRF-q0rt0tw

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Reaffirming the shahada: Ash-shahadun la illaha ilallah wa ash-shahadu ana Muhammadur Rasulallah. I bear witness that there is no God but One, and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His messenger and servant.

Some of my favorite ayat (verses) from the Qur'an:

On this day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and chosen for you Islam as your religion. [Qur'an 5:3]

And be true to every promise; you will be called to account for every promise you have made [Qur'an 17:34]

He created man and taught him speech and intelligence. The sun and moon follow courses perfectly calculated; the stars and trees prostrate in adoration. He raised the heavens high and established law not to be transgressed. He created earth for all creatures, and in it are fruits and date palms with hanging fruit, and grains and spices. Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny [Qur'an 55:3-13]

And if all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean were ink, with seven oceans behind it to add to its supply, still His words would not be exhausted in writing; He is the Almighty, most wise. [Qur'an 31:27]

The likeness of those who spend their wealth in His way, is as the likeness of a grain of corn; it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grains. He gives manifold increase to whom He pleases; He knows all and is sufficient for His creatures needs. [Qur'an 2:261]

And you may dislike something that is good for you; and you may like something that is bad for you, and He knows best. [Qur'an 2:216]

Do men think they be left alone on saying 'we believe' and they will not be tested? We tested those who were before them, and will come to know who is true from who is false. [Qur'an 29:2-3]

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none except Him, and honor your parents. As long as one or both of them live, never show the slightest gesture of annoyance nor shout at them, but treat them amicably. And lower for them the wings of humility and kindness, and say, 'My Lord have mercy on them, for they have raised me from infancy.' [Qur'an 17:23-24]

Fulfill His covenant when you enter into it, and don't break your oaths after confirming them. Don't be like the knitter who unravels strong knitting into piles of flimsy yarn, nor take oaths to practice deception in case one party is more numerous than the other; you will be tested on this. Everything that is disputed will be revealed on the Day of Resurrection. [Qur'an 16:91-92]

He is the Light of the heavens and earth. The parable of His light is as if there were a niche and in it a lamp enclosed in glass, as if it were a brilliant star lit from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is luminous, though fire barely touched it. Light upon Light! He guides whom He wills to His light and sets forth parables for men. He knows all things. [Qur'an 24:35]

Once you make a decision, carry out your plan and put your trust in Him; He loves those who put their trust in Him. If He helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, then who is it after that who can help you? So let the believers put their trust only in Him. [Qur'an 3:159-160]

Related by al-Tirmidhi on authority of bin Abbas (ra): 
Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Know Him in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. If you have need to ask, ask of Him; if you seek help, seek of Him. And realize that nothing can benefit or harm you except what's already been recorded. The pens have been lifted, the pages have dried.

Rasulallah (saw) said: No one will enter paradise who has an atoms weight of pride in his heart. Someone asked: What if a man likes his clothes and shoes to look good? The Prophet (pbuh) replied: Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty; pride means denying the truth and looking down on people.

Narrated Abu Huraira: A man came to Rasulallah (pbuh) and said, O Rasulallah, who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me? The Prophet pbuh said, Your mother. He asked again, Who next? The Prophet pbuh replied, Your mother. He asked again, And who is next? The Prophet pbuh said, Your mother. Then when he asked for the fourth time, Who is next? the Prophet pbuh replied, Your father. [Bukhari]

Is it not time for hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah's reminder [Qur'an 57:16] Verily in His remembrance do hearts find rest [Qur'an 13:28]

 

Excerpts from 'Silence' by Edgar Lee Masters

I have known the silence of the stars and of the sea, 
And the silence of the city when it pauses, 
And the silence of a man and a maid, 
And the silence of the sick 
When their eyes roam about the room. 
And I ask: For the depths, 
Of what use is language? 
A beast of the field moans a few times 
When death takes its young. 
And we are voiceless in the presence of realities -- 
We cannot speak. 

There is the silence of a great hatred, 
And the silence of a great love, 
And the silence of an embittered friendship. 
There is the silence of a spiritual crisis, 
Through which your soul, exquisitely tortured, 
Comes with visions not to be uttered 
Into a realm of higher life. 
There is the silence of defeat. 
There is the silence of those unjustly punished; 
And the silence of the dying whose hand 
Suddenly grips yours. 
There is the silence between father and son, 
When the father cannot explain his life, 
Even though he be misunderstood for it. 

There is the silence that comes between husband and wife. 
There is the silence of those who have failed; 
And the vast silence that covers 
Broken nations and vanquished leaders. 
And there is the silence of the dead. 
If we who are in life cannot speak 
Of profound experiences, 
Why do you marvel that the dead 
Do not tell you of death? 
Their silence shall be interpreted 
As we approach them.