Whenever I see filth in words, deed, thought, or matter, I am reminded of why I was drawn to Islam: it epitomizes purity in its truest form.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
-----
I'm so tired but can't fall asleep tonight. For various reasons, the Middle East conflict is on my mind again. I laid the book I was trying to focus on reading to the side and sat up in bed. My five year old nephew fast asleep next to me stirred and mumbled under his breath before falling quiet again. His rhythmic breathing soothed me as I gazed at his beautiful innocent face peacefully asleep. He really is one of the cutest kids I know. I half-smiled thinking how he'd came running into my room in his adorable pj's, pleading if he could sleep in my bed tonight. Children are so precious.
Then I thought of the thousands of innocent babies who suffered in Gaza. The countless families torn apart, their helplessness frustration pain and suffering is unbearable to me. I'm passionate about many things but the Palestinians' cause is especially close to my heart. I think myself to be an open-minded, non-judgmental, and reasonable person, but when I think of their strife, my reason threatens to fly out the window as sheer helplessness overcomes me.
I know fault lies with both sides, just as I know if there is to be any semblance of peace, it will have to come from both sides. What makes my heart dissolve into one dull, incessant ache is knowing the gross injustices that have occurred and are still occurring.
Oblivious to the tears I close my eyes and wait for the pain to subside.
Ya'Allah, have mercy on the Falasteen.. ease their suffering and grant them freedom.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Baby It's All Good (2008)
------
What do you see when you look at meDo you see someone imprisoned or someone free
some people can only look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair
Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am oppressed and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Relieved that they at least would remain 'free'
Except free isn't exactly the word I would use
to describe women who are degraded and abused
Some think that I lack opinions or voice
That the chadar on my head isn't my choice
They think that this hood is my clothed cage
That my oppressors would else be outraged
Little do they know of the battle that was waged
It's written in history, turn the page.
So they glance about surreptiously, with blinders on
unable to comprehend whats misunderstood or unknown
Even wanting to reach out, some pull back in fear
Evoking pity in my heart at the values they hold dear
So they glance about surreptiously, with blinders on
unable to comprehend whats misunderstood or unknown
Even wanting to reach out, some pull back in fear
Evoking pity in my heart at the values they hold dear
They say my face is my passport to freedom
Guide me ya'Allah, I will not heed them
If my chadar is my prison, then may I never be free
Those who can look well will witness eternal beauty.
Guide me ya'Allah, I will not heed them
If my chadar is my prison, then may I never be free
Those who can look well will witness eternal beauty.
Outer beauty fades with hardships and time
Wrinkles embed faces, mazes sublime
A hundred stories told in every line
We will become old, frail and in need
Perhaps realization will strike, in the heart plant a seed
if nurtured and cared for, the seed may grow
Perpetuate understanding and acceptance sow
The intelligent ones are attracted by tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they too were free
To have the willpower to do what they know is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
So I choose to travel the path less traveled
Even if it is fraught with stones and pebbles
For the destination I desire I know it is right
And hope there are others inspired by my sight
I am respected despite what you do not see
yes, Alhamdullilah I am liberated and free.
In the back of their mind they wish they too were free
To have the willpower to do what they know is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
So I choose to travel the path less traveled
Even if it is fraught with stones and pebbles
For the destination I desire I know it is right
And hope there are others inspired by my sight
I am respected despite what you do not see
yes, Alhamdullilah I am liberated and free.
(revised from original 'Baby, It's All Good' 1.2010)
Waiting to Exhale.
When you have to hold fast with both hands for fear of losing something, it is not meant to be yours. When you forget God and change yourself to please others, you will also be forgotten. And when anyone can exercise power over your state of mind, thats when you are no longer your own person. Stand for something or fall for anything.
----
I turned off the tv, set the remote control on the coffee table, and leaned against the couch. Closing my eyes, I tried to block the images from my mind. I could sense the palpable anguish fear and heartache as if I were there myself. Bodies of loved ones buried in the rubble.. an entire city reduced to nothing. So much devastation and destruction... so much suffering.
Ya'Allah, have mercy.
Brushing my hands raggedly across my face, I rose. I could feel the walls closing in around me.
Shuddering, I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my heartbeat to slow down. The ability to acutely empathize is a mixed blessing. It's strange how we feel so much sometimes but cannot say a word.
Allah (swt) warns us we will be tested.
Be sure We will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits of your toil, but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity,'To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from Allah and mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. [Qur'an 2:155-157]
May He grant the patience wisdom strength and courage to pass these tests.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
-----
Reaffirming the shahada: Ash-shahadun la illaha ilallah wa ash-shahadu ana Muhammadur Rasulallah. I bear witness that there is no God but One, and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His messenger and servant.
Some of my favorite ayat (verses) from the Qur'an:
On this day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and chosen for you Islam as your religion. [Qur'an 5:3]
And be true to every promise; you will be called to account for every promise you have made [Qur'an 17:34]
He created man and taught him speech and intelligence. The sun and moon follow courses perfectly calculated; the stars and trees prostrate in adoration. He raised the heavens high and established law not to be transgressed. He created earth for all creatures, and in it are fruits and date palms with hanging fruit, and grains and spices. Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny [Qur'an 55:3-13]
And if all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean were ink, with seven oceans behind it to add to its supply, still His words would not be exhausted in writing; He is the Almighty, most wise. [Qur'an 31:27]
The likeness of those who spend their wealth in His way, is as the likeness of a grain of corn; it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grains. He gives manifold increase to whom He pleases; He knows all and is sufficient for His creatures needs. [Qur'an 2:261]
And you may dislike something that is good for you; and you may like something that is bad for you, and He knows best. [Qur'an 2:216]
Do men think they be left alone on saying 'we believe' and they will not be tested? We tested those who were before them, and will come to know who is true from who is false. [Qur'an 29:2-3]
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none except Him, and honor your parents. As long as one or both of them live, never show the slightest gesture of annoyance nor shout at them, but treat them amicably. And lower for them the wings of humility and kindness, and say, 'My Lord have mercy on them, for they have raised me from infancy.' [Qur'an 17:23-24]
Fulfill His covenant when you enter into it, and don't break your oaths after confirming them. Don't be like the knitter who unravels strong knitting into piles of flimsy yarn, nor take oaths to practice deception in case one party is more numerous than the other; you will be tested on this. Everything that is disputed will be revealed on the Day of Resurrection. [Qur'an 16:91-92]
He is the Light of the heavens and earth. The parable of His light is as if there were a niche and in it a lamp enclosed in glass, as if it were a brilliant star lit from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is luminous, though fire barely touched it. Light upon Light! He guides whom He wills to His light and sets forth parables for men. He knows all things. [Qur'an 24:35]
Once you make a decision, carry out your plan and put your trust in Him; He loves those who put their trust in Him. If He helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, then who is it after that who can help you? So let the believers put their trust only in Him. [Qur'an 3:159-160]
Related by al-Tirmidhi on authority of bin Abbas (ra):
Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Know Him in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. If you have need to ask, ask of Him; if you seek help, seek of Him. And realize that nothing can benefit or harm you except what's already been recorded. The pens have been lifted, the pages have dried.
Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Know Him in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. If you have need to ask, ask of Him; if you seek help, seek of Him. And realize that nothing can benefit or harm you except what's already been recorded. The pens have been lifted, the pages have dried.
Rasulallah (saw) said: No one will enter paradise who has an atoms weight of pride in his heart. Someone asked: What if a man likes his clothes and shoes to look good? The Prophet (pbuh) replied: Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty; pride means denying the truth and looking down on people.
Narrated Abu Huraira: A man came to Rasulallah (pbuh) and said, O Rasulallah, who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me? The Prophet pbuh said, Your mother. He asked again, Who next? The Prophet pbuh replied, Your mother. He asked again, And who is next? The Prophet pbuh said, Your mother. Then when he asked for the fourth time, Who is next? the Prophet pbuh replied, Your father. [Bukhari]
Is it not time for hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah's reminder [Qur'an 57:16] Verily in His remembrance do hearts find rest [Qur'an 13:28]
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Excerpts from 'Silence' by Edgar Lee Masters
I have known the silence of the stars and of the sea,
And the silence of the city when it pauses,
And the silence of a man and a maid,
And the silence of the sick
When their eyes roam about the room.
And I ask: For the depths,
Of what use is language?
A beast of the field moans a few times
When death takes its young.
And we are voiceless in the presence of realities --
We cannot speak.
There is the silence of a great hatred,
And the silence of a great love,
And the silence of an embittered friendship.
There is the silence of a spiritual crisis,
Through which your soul, exquisitely tortured,
Comes with visions not to be uttered
Into a realm of higher life.
There is the silence of defeat.
There is the silence of those unjustly punished;
And the silence of the dying whose hand
Suddenly grips yours.
There is the silence between father and son,
When the father cannot explain his life,
Even though he be misunderstood for it.
There is the silence that comes between husband and wife.
There is the silence of those who have failed;
And the vast silence that covers
Broken nations and vanquished leaders.
And there is the silence of the dead.
If we who are in life cannot speak
Of profound experiences,
Why do you marvel that the dead
Do not tell you of death?
Their silence shall be interpreted
As we approach them.
And the silence of the city when it pauses,
And the silence of a man and a maid,
And the silence of the sick
When their eyes roam about the room.
And I ask: For the depths,
Of what use is language?
A beast of the field moans a few times
When death takes its young.
And we are voiceless in the presence of realities --
We cannot speak.
There is the silence of a great hatred,
And the silence of a great love,
And the silence of an embittered friendship.
There is the silence of a spiritual crisis,
Through which your soul, exquisitely tortured,
Comes with visions not to be uttered
Into a realm of higher life.
There is the silence of defeat.
There is the silence of those unjustly punished;
And the silence of the dying whose hand
Suddenly grips yours.
There is the silence between father and son,
When the father cannot explain his life,
Even though he be misunderstood for it.
There is the silence that comes between husband and wife.
There is the silence of those who have failed;
And the vast silence that covers
Broken nations and vanquished leaders.
And there is the silence of the dead.
If we who are in life cannot speak
Of profound experiences,
Why do you marvel that the dead
Do not tell you of death?
Their silence shall be interpreted
As we approach them.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
At the end of my shift today, I gathered my things, clocked out, and made my way to the hospital chapel to pray Asr.
The doors slid open and as I stepped inside, I noticed a middle-aged woman sitting in the front row. She didn't look up as I entered, and I went to pull out a prayer mat from the small chest in the back. Just as I set my things down and positioned the mat to begin prayers, she turned around in her seat and sobbing loudly, cried out, 'Will you please pray with me? I don't want to be alone anymore. Please come pray with me..'
Startled, I realized she was talking to me. Without hesitating, I went and sat down next to her, unsure of what to do next. She grabbed both my hands in hers and implored me to pray with her as she sobbed to God to save her best friend and sister. I firmly held her hands as she leaned against me and cried. I helplessly racked my brain for what to say that could ease this woman's distress. I didn't know the protocol for Christian prayers. Some people always know the right thing to say at the right time, but words often fail me... sometimes they're inadequate in face of such grief. So I sat in silence and let her cry - tears are cathartic.
After several minutes, her crying subsided and she lifted her head and began thanking me.
I cut her off, smiled and reassured her everything would be alright, for her to have faith and be strong.
She took hold of my hand again and said, 'You're Muslim aren't you? I said some bad things about you people. I'm really sorry you're not a bad person.'
Her confession took me by surprise and I smiled.
'No,' I replied. 'I'm Muslim and I'm not a bad person. And you're Christian and you're not a bad person either. I think more than bad people in the world, are good people who do bad things.' The woman's niece entered the chapel, and I patted her back and rose.
Letting her take over the task of comforting her aunt, I went back to pray.
January 2009 - Poems
HEART OF THE BELIEVER
(dedicated to the people of Palestine)
What a dreary day it must have been
the day they declared Hope died
certainly in passing, time stood still
listening as the breeze forlornly sighed
the weeping willow surely weeped
and some swear the heavens cried
for the nightingale had ceased to sing
because it's tears had not yet dried
the marjorams shriveled disconsolately
even the daffodils were robbed of their dew
I hear the wild iris withered slowly away
as great many begonia dwindled to a few
many grieved inconsolably, convinced
all had been lost that they cherish
they did not know they were blatantly lied to
because its obvious Hope did not perish.
It is alive.
It survives where peace and justice prevail
And in the promise of an innocent child
It is evident in simple acts of kindness
And in the curve of a sanguine smile
It is displayed in the triumph of courage
And a right obliterating past wrongs
It lives in the re-establishment of dignity
For the oppressed who overcame great odds
It resides where tolerance abolishes hatred
And where truth has conquered the deceivers
Hope rests on tongues that utter the shahada
And it flourishes in the hearts of the Believers.
(c) znc 1.09
the day they declared Hope died
certainly in passing, time stood still
listening as the breeze forlornly sighed
the weeping willow surely weeped
and some swear the heavens cried
for the nightingale had ceased to sing
because it's tears had not yet dried
the marjorams shriveled disconsolately
even the daffodils were robbed of their dew
I hear the wild iris withered slowly away
as great many begonia dwindled to a few
many grieved inconsolably, convinced
all had been lost that they cherish
they did not know they were blatantly lied to
because its obvious Hope did not perish.
It is alive.
It survives where peace and justice prevail
And in the promise of an innocent child
It is evident in simple acts of kindness
And in the curve of a sanguine smile
It is displayed in the triumph of courage
And a right obliterating past wrongs
It lives in the re-establishment of dignity
For the oppressed who overcame great odds
It resides where tolerance abolishes hatred
And where truth has conquered the deceivers
Hope rests on tongues that utter the shahada
And it flourishes in the hearts of the Believers.
(c) znc 1.09
-------
DARKEST HOUR
(For SM)
Walking in the valley of the shadow of death
Fear no evil, only God
They say there's six million ways to die
I say for each man, only one
At time predetermined
So live your life
Like every minute is the last
Make a prayer,
Let go of the past
Find peace, firmly hold fast
Look forward
To what lies ahead
Beyond paths yet to be tread
Be among the followed
Not the led.
Everyone has demons to conquer at times
You have yours
I've had mine
When darkness rears its head
At midnight's hour don't succumb
Summon willpower lying dormant within
Strike it dead
Pride is your shield
Courage your best defense
Hold your head up high
Jump the fence
If you fall, get back up
Dust yourself off and try again
And again
Until you succeed.
Envision in your mind
Destination in sight
At tunnel's end,
Discernible light
Don't lose hope
Fight the good fight
Like the Spartans defeated Trojans
After Paris abducted Helen
Achaeans challenged immorality
Avenged wronged right.
Remain steadfast
Find solace in faith
Deflect criticism cast
Maintain dignity and honor
Too often pawned
Don't be discouraged, you will win
For the battle must be won
And always remember
Night is truly darkest
Just before dawn.
Fear no evil, only God
They say there's six million ways to die
I say for each man, only one
At time predetermined
So live your life
Like every minute is the last
Make a prayer,
Let go of the past
Find peace, firmly hold fast
Look forward
To what lies ahead
Beyond paths yet to be tread
Be among the followed
Not the led.
Everyone has demons to conquer at times
You have yours
I've had mine
When darkness rears its head
At midnight's hour don't succumb
Summon willpower lying dormant within
Strike it dead
Pride is your shield
Courage your best defense
Hold your head up high
Jump the fence
If you fall, get back up
Dust yourself off and try again
And again
Until you succeed.
Envision in your mind
Destination in sight
At tunnel's end,
Discernible light
Don't lose hope
Fight the good fight
Like the Spartans defeated Trojans
After Paris abducted Helen
Achaeans challenged immorality
Avenged wronged right.
Remain steadfast
Find solace in faith
Deflect criticism cast
Maintain dignity and honor
Too often pawned
Don't be discouraged, you will win
For the battle must be won
And always remember
Night is truly darkest
Just before dawn.
(c) znc 1.09
-------
February 2009 - Poems
ALL THAT GLITTERS
All that glitters is not gold
Is that how the saying goes
Thats not what some people say
If it glitters then it must be gold
And everyones buying in
So if you're selling, consider it sold.
Its the folly of men
To want to be big superstars
Own fifteen mansions, drive luxury cars
Rolexes TAG Heuers Movados
Airs of assumed bravado
Properties around the globe
In cities near and far
Beautiful women at beck and call
Extravagant parties
Lavish affairs, free for all.
And every girl wants to be
The envy of all women
Fur coats, iced wrists, crushed linen
Beemers benzes Q45 to the infinite
Capital One visas where the sky's the limit
Conditioned beauty artificially maintained
Thick lashes, flawless skin,
Slender figures personally trained
Vacationing in the Maldives
Blue water white sand soft breeze
Moss Lipow sunglasses, tan top, white capris
Rocking all the designer labels
Bvlgari pradas hermes Fendis
Only the finest Italian leather
Give them the best cuz it can't get better
Than this
Sheer bliss
What do you mean, they ask
What you don't have
Is in fact possible to miss
Whoever says what I have is not gold
Is a fool jealous
That they don't possess
Everything I own
Of course all I have glitters good as gold
And I deserve it all and more ten-fold
The price you ask?
The devil didn't ask for much in return
Only conscience and soul.
(c) znc 2.09
Thats not what some people say
If it glitters then it must be gold
And everyones buying in
So if you're selling, consider it sold.
Its the folly of men
To want to be big superstars
Own fifteen mansions, drive luxury cars
Rolexes TAG Heuers Movados
Airs of assumed bravado
Properties around the globe
In cities near and far
Beautiful women at beck and call
Extravagant parties
Lavish affairs, free for all.
And every girl wants to be
The envy of all women
Fur coats, iced wrists, crushed linen
Beemers benzes Q45 to the infinite
Capital One visas where the sky's the limit
Conditioned beauty artificially maintained
Thick lashes, flawless skin,
Slender figures personally trained
Vacationing in the Maldives
Blue water white sand soft breeze
Moss Lipow sunglasses, tan top, white capris
Rocking all the designer labels
Bvlgari pradas hermes Fendis
Only the finest Italian leather
Give them the best cuz it can't get better
Than this
Sheer bliss
What do you mean, they ask
What you don't have
Is in fact possible to miss
Whoever says what I have is not gold
Is a fool jealous
That they don't possess
Everything I own
Of course all I have glitters good as gold
And I deserve it all and more ten-fold
The price you ask?
The devil didn't ask for much in return
Only conscience and soul.
(c) znc 2.09
-----
YESTERDAY'S WHISPERS
Under pale moonlight after night falls The world sleeps soundly while he lies awake
Studying shadows cast on unadorned walls
He reminisces of a love he cannot forsake
The lone wind wails, an unwelcome intruder
Lamenting tales of betrayal and heartache
Coyly along corridors, its echoes softly whisper
Mocking of a past he cannot escape
Until yesterday love was the only truth he knew
A maxim that would prevail despite any cost
But fate dissented, and circumstance was a foe
His beloved is gone and he is now lost
A foghorn signals dutifully, warning of impending peril
Thunder claps in the distance, then solemn hush ensues
A weary soul wistfully sighs, restless and remorseful
Yearning for elusive peace that in vain he pursues
Tonight the night is a fair-weather friend
Cloaking crystalline tears on ashen cheeks
In the reassuring comfort of its ample bosom
He seeks oblivion under guise of sleep.
(c) znc 2.09
Sunday, December 20, 2009
On authority of Abu Musa al-Ashari (ra) the Prophet (pbuh) said: A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith. The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he may singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.
Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (the pious). [Qur'an 43:67]
-----
Sometimes you meet people that leave an enormous impact on you. They have such character about them – such conscience, beauty, and wit… outstanding adaab (mannerisms) and a kind heart with a capacity to love and give without any expectations of receiving in return. I’ve been so fortunate to have met a few such individuals in my life. These people have a noor (light) about them, their faces glow with light and their eyes sparkle with an abundant love for Allah (swt) and His beloved Rasool (pbuh). They have a calm, patient demeanor about them, as if they can endure the most difficult trials and persevere without losing hope because they have unwavering faith. A peace surrounds them, and when they speak of the deen, you intently listen, hoping to glean any insight and wisdom they proffer. They are humble and modest, deflecting praise lavished upon them to the Almighty and our Prophet (pbuh). And when these individuals smile while passionately speaking of the beauty of Islam, our Rab (God) and His Rasool (pbuh) (messenger), the radiant joy on their faces is blinding and palpable enough to melt even the hardest jaded hearts.
I had a conversation with one such person very recently, and am still struck by what a beautiful person she is, inside out. If only everyone can be so fortunate to partake of the company of these select few who help instill in the hearts a love for our amazing deen and encourage by word and deed to become better Muslims and people. I count myself blessed to have had my life enriched by having had them be a part of it. I doubt they fully realize how much joy and inspiration they bring to others simply by being themselves.
I think the danger for people with an absolutist interpretation of scripture is that they are blinded as opposed to guided by the light of God. - Sh Hamza Yusuf
And that is the secret of this world. If you remove love of dunya (world) from your heart, the dunya is yours for the taking. You can have the dunya because it's in your hand and not in your heart. - Sh Hamza Yusuf
----
One of my favorite Sheikhs of all-time is Sheikh Hamza Yusuf. Sh Hamza (born in 1960 as Mark Hanson in Walla Walla, Washington) is an Islamic
scholar. He was raised in Northern California in a Greek Orthodox family, the son of two US academics. At the age of 17, in 1977, he became a Muslim and subsequently traveled to the Muslim world and studied for ten years in the U. A. E., Saudi Arabia, as well as North and West Africa. He received teaching licenses in various Islamic subjects from several well-known scholars in various countries. After ten years of studies abroad, he returned to the USA and took degrees in Religious Studies and Health Care. He has traveled all over the world giving talks on Islam. He also founded Zaytuna Institute which has established an international reputation for presenting a classical picture of Islam in the West and which is dedicated to the revival of traditional study methods and the sciences of Islam. Sh Hamza is the first American lecturer to teach in Morocco's prestigious and oldest University, the Karaouine in Fes. In addition, he has translated into modern English several classical Arabic traditional texts and poems. Sh Hamza currently resides in Northern California with his wife and five sons. More info on Sh Hamza:
* One of my favorite lectures given by Sh Hamza:
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
AlMustafa the chosen and beloved, waited 12 years in the city of Orphalese before his ship finally returned to take him back to his birth isle. Before departing, he held audience with the townspeople who seeked his knowledge...
Then Almitra said, Speak to us of love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. and with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. and when his wings enfold you yield to them, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. and when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. for even as love crowns you so shall he crucify. even as he is your growth so is he your pruning. even as he ascends to your height, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth..all these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart. but if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasures, then it is better for you that you pass out of love's threshing-floor into the seasonless world where you shall laugh but not all your laughter and weep, but not all of your tears.
And a woman spoke and said, Tell us of pain. And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding...and could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than our joy, and you would accept the seasons of your heart, and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Then Almitra said, And what of marriage? And he answered saying:
You were born together and together you shall be forevermore. but let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. love one another, but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. fill each other's cups but drink not from one cup. give one another of your loaf but eat not from the same loaf. sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.and stand together yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each others' shadow.
Then Almitra spoke, saying We would now ask of death. And he said:
You would know the secret of death. but how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? the owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of the night. if you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. for life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one. in the depths of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; trust your dreams for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor...what is it to die, but to stand naked in the wind, and to melt into the sun. and what is to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered.
And a woman said, Speak to us of joy and sorrow. And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. and the selfsame well from which your laughter rises is oftentimes filled with your tears. and how else can it be? the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain...when you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find that it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. when you are sorrowful look again into your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight...
Then Almitra said, Speak to us of love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. and with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. and when his wings enfold you yield to them, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. and when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. for even as love crowns you so shall he crucify. even as he is your growth so is he your pruning. even as he ascends to your height, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth..all these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart. but if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasures, then it is better for you that you pass out of love's threshing-floor into the seasonless world where you shall laugh but not all your laughter and weep, but not all of your tears.
And a woman spoke and said, Tell us of pain. And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding...and could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than our joy, and you would accept the seasons of your heart, and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Then Almitra said, And what of marriage? And he answered saying:
You were born together and together you shall be forevermore. but let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. love one another, but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. fill each other's cups but drink not from one cup. give one another of your loaf but eat not from the same loaf. sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.and stand together yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each others' shadow.
Then Almitra spoke, saying We would now ask of death. And he said:
You would know the secret of death. but how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? the owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of the night. if you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. for life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one. in the depths of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; trust your dreams for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor...what is it to die, but to stand naked in the wind, and to melt into the sun. and what is to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered.
And a woman said, Speak to us of joy and sorrow. And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. and the selfsame well from which your laughter rises is oftentimes filled with your tears. and how else can it be? the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain...when you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find that it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. when you are sorrowful look again into your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight...
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
is it possible to truly understand the teachings of islam... the Qur'an Hadith and Sunnah... and not be compelled to believe and practice? i don't know, but i don't think so.
its a gorgeous autumn day out. i need to go shoppping for fall but don't have time.
went to bed late last night because I was reading, and fell asleep with my eyeglasses on hah. i woke up this morning wondering what was on my face then realized i'd forgotten to take them off :P fortunately they didn't break, although i do need a new pair so that would have been the perfect excuse to quit procrastinating and go purchase one.
wow, its noon already? need to get ready for work.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Hoisting my handbag onto my shoulder, with one hand I fumbled for my keys as I pushed open the glass door. A cool wind blasted my face, stinging my eyes and causing them to tear. It was chillier than I'd expected. I shivered and pulled my lab coat tighter around me while waiting for a cab blocking the driveway to unload it's passengers.
Usually when I work evenings, I walk the two blocks to the garage after work with a friend or colleague, or I take the courtesy shuttle provided by the hospital for employees and guests. Tonight, the shuttle wasn't parked in it's usual spot.
Briefly, I contemplated calling another satellite to see if anyone else was walking to the same garage, but decided against it. Tonight I wasn't in the mood to socialize; there were too many thoughts in my head that needed to be sorted.
Among other things, only the day before, I'd learned of the unexpected, tragic passing of a good friend from pharmacy school. Sumer was 1/2 white, 1/2 Syrian, and wholly beautiful inside out. She was one of the most compassionate people I knew, with a strong sense of social justice; she advocated for and devoted time and energy to so many causes she was passionate about. But what I remember most about her was her crazy sense of humor... how she'd tease me about a particular someone in our graduating class. This girl used to crack me up, and now she was gone. One of the worst things about her death is that it was so unexpected. She wasn't sick and didn't have any kind of disorder that anyone knew of. Even the medical examiners have had difficulty determining the cause of death. Perfectly healthy 29 year olds with so much to live for don't just up and die.
I'd attended her wedding and last spoke to her around the time of her baby shower four months ago. She had recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl who was the pride and joy of her life. Just thinking about her daughter and husband caused my heart to break a little more.. I can't imagine how difficult this is for her family.
It's funny we love people like they're ours to love, but everything and everyone is from Allah swt. He gives us life, and our lives are His to take as He pleases.. subhanallah I accept that wholeheartedly but I miss her. And all the other people I've loved who touched my life in some way and then passed on.
I took a deep breath and exhaled forcefully, releasing pent up emotions churning inside of me. The florescent neon lights that come on in the city after dark became distorted as my vision blurred.
It's so sad how life intervenes and we lose touch with people we care about... only to regret not making more of an effort to keep in touch after its too late.
As I was lost in thought, a raindrop fell onto my cheek. Thinking it was a tear, I didn't bother brushing it away. Seconds later, a second raindrop fell. Looking up at the dark, cloudy night sky, I realized it was about to rain.
How fitting, even the heavens were mourning tonight.
Instead of walking faster to avoid the downpour, I slowed my pace, closed my eyes, and lifted my face to the heavens.
As if commiserating, they slowly opened as I walked the remaining block to the garage.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Ilm Fest was simply amazing.. subhanallah. So much effort put in by so many talented, hard-working brothers and sisters paid off by the grace of Allah (swt).. may He reward them for all their efforts, ameen. The only sad moment was when it was announced the ameera of qabeelat nurayn was stepping down and leaving for Egypt. I've only just met her and am so impressed with what an amazing sister she is.. very disappointed to hear that she will be leaving but am happy for her. may Allah (swt) make her successful in all her endeavors iA.
Several sisters commented I looked different. I feel a change so perhaps its easier to understand how others may notice a difference in me as well. Inshallah it is for the better :))
Sometimes I feel like I just came out of hibernation.. that for twenty some years I stumbled futilely in the dark .. seeking, searching to find.. something. Every which way I turned I'd face a wall closing in on me, until finally now things have started falling into place and I'm seeing the light of day... its brightness can be beautifully blinding, enough so that sometimes I blink and want to pinch myself to make sure its not a dream.
The journey to revelation is awe-inspiring indeed.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Didn't know it was possible for one heart to contain patience peace and a quiet joy like this.. the eyes are the same but its as though you view the world through entirely different lenses; your entire perspective changes. is this what enlightenment feels like? its as if I've discovered a secret many fortunate people already knew, and some unlucky ones never might.
Allah (swt) is closer to us than our own vein, but sometimes I'm afraid that i'll become distracted again and regress.. that instead of becoming closer, i'll become more distant from Him. It's so easy to become absorbed in this duniya and lose sight of the akhira if your iman is not strong, but maybe this fear is a healthy thing. As long as I'm afraid of this happening, maybe I'll consciously continue making a concerted effort to improve myself and increase my ilm inshallah. Speaking of ilm...
I'm excited about ILMFest this weekend!!! yea... me, excited about ILMFest! and it feels good :) Subhanallah God is great. :)
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