You see them bowing and prostrating, as they seek God's blessings and approval. Their marks are on their faces, because of prostrating. This is the same example as in the Torah. Their example in the Gospel is like plants that grow taller and stronger, and please the farmers. He thus enrages the disbelievers. God promises those among them who believe, and lead a righteous life, forgiveness and a great recompense. [Qur'an 48:29]

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The mark referred to in this ayah from the Qur'an is called a mehrab. Subhanallah what a blessing it is to be in the company of these individuals who bear such proof of their devotion to Allah (swt) and the teachings of His beloved Rasool (saw).

is it possible to truly understand the teachings of islam... the Qur'an Hadith and Sunnah... and not be compelled to believe and practice? i don't know, but i don't think so. 

its a gorgeous autumn day out. i need to go shoppping for fall but don't have time. 

went to bed late last night because I was reading, and fell asleep with my eyeglasses on hah. i woke up this morning wondering what was on my face  then realized i'd forgotten to take them off :P fortunately they didn't break, although i do need a new pair so that would have been the perfect excuse to quit procrastinating and go purchase one. 

wow, its noon already? need to get ready for work.

Hoisting my handbag onto my shoulder, with one hand I fumbled for my keys as I pushed open the glass door. A cool wind blasted my face, stinging my eyes and causing them to tear. It was chillier than I'd expected. I shivered and pulled my lab coat tighter around me while waiting for a cab blocking the driveway to unload it's passengers.

Usually when I work evenings, I walk the two blocks to the garage after work with a friend or colleague, or I take the courtesy shuttle provided by the hospital for employees and guests. Tonight, the shuttle wasn't parked in it's usual spot. 

Briefly, I contemplated calling another satellite to see if anyone else was walking to the same garage, but decided against it. Tonight I wasn't in the mood to socialize; there were too many thoughts in my head that needed to be sorted.

Among other things, only the day before, I'd learned of the unexpected, tragic passing of a good friend from pharmacy school. Sumer was 1/2 white, 1/2 Syrian, and wholly beautiful inside out. She was one of the most compassionate people I knew, with a strong sense of social justice; she advocated for and devoted time and energy to so many causes she was passionate about. But what I remember most about her was her crazy sense of humor... how she'd tease me about a particular someone in our graduating class. This girl used to crack me up, and now she was gone. One of the worst things about her death is that it was so unexpected. She wasn't sick and didn't have any kind of disorder that anyone knew of. Even the medical examiners have had difficulty determining the cause of death. Perfectly healthy 29 year olds with so much to live for don't just up and die. 

I'd attended her wedding and last spoke to her around the time of her baby shower four months ago. She had recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl who was the pride and joy of her life. Just thinking about her daughter and husband caused my heart to break a little more.. I can't imagine how difficult this is for her family.

It's funny we love people like they're ours to love, but everything and everyone is from Allah swt. He gives us life, and our lives are His to take as He pleases.. subhanallah I accept that wholeheartedly but I miss her. And all the other people I've loved who touched my life in some way and then passed on. 

I took a deep breath and exhaled forcefully, releasing pent up emotions churning inside of me. The florescent neon lights that come on in the city after dark became distorted as my vision blurred.

It's so sad how life intervenes and we lose touch with people we care about... only to regret not making more of an effort to keep in touch after its too late. 

As I was lost in thought, a raindrop fell onto my cheek. Thinking it was a tear, I didn't bother brushing it away. Seconds later, a second raindrop fell. Looking up at the dark, cloudy night sky, I realized it was about to rain. 

How fitting, even the heavens were mourning tonight.

Instead of walking faster to avoid the downpour, I slowed my pace, closed my eyes, and lifted my face to the heavens. 

As if commiserating, they slowly opened as I walked the remaining block to the garage.

Ilm Fest was simply amazing.. subhanallah. So much effort put in by so many talented, hard-working brothers and sisters paid off by the grace of Allah (swt).. may He reward them for all their efforts, ameen. The only sad moment was when it was announced the ameera of qabeelat nurayn was stepping down and leaving for Egypt. I've only just met her and am so impressed with what an amazing sister she is.. very disappointed to hear that she will be leaving but am happy for her. may Allah (swt) make her successful in all her endeavors iA. 

Several sisters commented I looked different. I feel a change so perhaps its easier to understand how others may notice a difference in me as well. Inshallah it is for the better :))

Sometimes I feel like I just came out of hibernation.. that for twenty some years I stumbled futilely in the dark .. seeking, searching to find.. something. Every which way I turned I'd face a wall closing in on me, until finally now things have started falling into place and I'm seeing the light of day... its brightness can be beautifully blinding, enough so that sometimes I blink and want to pinch myself to make sure its not a dream. 

The journey to revelation is awe-inspiring indeed. 

Didn't know it was possible for one heart to contain patience peace and a quiet joy like this.. the eyes are the same but its as though you view the world through entirely different lenses; your entire perspective changes. is this what enlightenment feels like? its as if I've discovered a secret many fortunate people already knew, and some unlucky ones never might.

Allah (swt) is closer to us than our own vein, but sometimes I'm afraid that i'll become distracted again and regress.. that instead of becoming closer, i'll become more distant from Him. It's so easy to become absorbed in this duniya and lose sight of the akhira if your iman is not strong, but maybe this fear is a healthy thing. As long as I'm afraid of this happening, maybe I'll consciously continue making a concerted effort to improve myself and increase my ilm inshallah. Speaking of ilm...

I'm excited about ILMFest this weekend!!! yea... me, excited about ILMFest! and it feels good :) Subhanallah God is great.  :)

sometimes the most difficult battles are not ones waged in the field, but the ones we wage against ourselves. 

May Allah (swt) help us emerge victorious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyjpBFnKZOg

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He did not know how to read, but the voice said to him, Read. Read in the name of your Lord Who created. Created humankind from an embryo...

Read. For your Lord is most generous, He taught humanity by the pen. Taught it that which it knew not. 

The voice said, Muhammad (saw), I am Gabriel, and you are the messenger of God.

So by Allah (swt)'s will, he read.

Hadith Qudsi: 

Allah (swt) said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.    
O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you.     
O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
-Related by at-Tirmidhi. 

Ramadan 1430: Day 28

The further along I've gotten in reading the Qur'an, the more difficult it's become to select a favorite ayat(s) to head my blog posts; there are so many beautiful beautiful verses, how impossible it is to choose just one...

And thus We have revealed a Qur'an to you in Arabic that you may warn the mother of the towns and all around it; and warn them of the day of assembling of which there is no doubt a party will be in Paradise and a party will be in the fire. [Qur'an 42:7]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRF-q0rt0tw&feature=channel 

....

After completing the last verse of the last surah of the last Juz, I slowly closed my Qur'an and laid it carefully on it's wooden stand. For a moment, I admired it's hardback, forest green cover with golden Arabic and English engraved script. 

How can one Book be simply so perfect? But it is... Subhanallah. Turning, I exited the Qur'anic recitation browser open on my mac and, leaning back against the floor cushion, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. 

I didn't bother wiping away the tears that had coursed down my cheeks. Knowing I had yet to make dua, I allowed myself a few desperately needed minutes to digest the import of what I feel like I'd only just begun really understanding. If I tried to find the right words to describe how I feel, I'd fail. 

This is much bigger than me.. I feel humbled honored... grateful... terrified... enlightened ignorant... ashamed hopeful... fortunate... repentant... and so much more.

I have never been more in love with the perfect truth of Islam than I am now.  This Ramadan has been the first time I've completed the Qur'an (with translation) not only for the purpose of reading it, but for the sake of understanding it too. With every ayat of each surah, I fell a little more in love with Allah (swt), His beloved Rasul (saw).. and our deen. This is perfect peace. Subhanallah... Allahuakbar. I wish I could capture this moment and freeze it forever.

9/18:

completed Juz 30

Chapter 78: Surah An-Naba Verses 1-40 through

Chapter 114: Surah Al-Nas Verses 1-6

Ramadan 1430: Day 27 (Sept 17th)

9/17:

completed Juz 29

Chapter 67: Surah Al-Mulk Verses 1-40 through

Chapter 77: Surah Al-Mursalat Verses 1-50

Ramadan 1430: Day 26 (Sept 16th)

9/16:

completed Juz 28

Chapter 58: Surah Al-Mujadila Verses 1-22 through

Chapter 66: Surah Al-Tahrim Verses 1-12

 

completed Juz 27

Chapter 51: Surah Adh-Dhariyat Verses 31-60 through

Chapter 57: Surah Al-Hadid Verses 1-29

Ramadan 1430: Day 25 (Sept 15th)

9/15:

completed Juz 26

Chapter 46: Surah Al-Ahqaf Verses 1-35 through

Chapter 51: Surah Adh-Dhariyat Verses 1-30

Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth; a likeness of His light is as a niche in which is a lamp, the lamp is in a glass, (and) the glass is as it were a brightly shining star, lit from a blessed olive-tree, neither eastern nor western, the oil whereof almost gives light though fire touch it not-- light upon light-- Allah guides to His light whom He pleases, and Allah sets forth parables for men, and Allah is Cognizant of all things. [Qur'an 24:35]

Ramadan 1430: Day 23

And among His Signs are the ships, smooth-running through the ocean, tall as mountains. If it be His will He can still the wind: then they would become motionless on the back of the ocean. Verily in this are Signs for everyone who patiently perseveres and is grateful. [Qur'an 42:32-33]

----

Last night at an iftari I met a young woman in her early twenties who had recently taken the Shahada. She's the third person I've met this Ramadan who has recently accepted Islam into their lives mashallah. After we all broke fast, prayed, and ate, we moved into the living room to have dessert and chat. Eventually the conversation gravitated towards what compelled this young lady to embrace Islam. Listening to her explain her frustration with Christianity and its inconsistencies, her struggle with accepting the faith she was born into, and then her gradual foray into and discovery of Islam, I was struck by her passion and courage. She spoke of the difficulties of living at home with Christian parents who - unaware she was now Muslim - still served pork and served wine at the dinner table. Unbeknownst to them, she would leave the house and wait to get to her car to don the hijab and abaya to forestall questions and avoid their inevitable panic and disapproval. She also voiced her pain, regret, and fear over the fact that her parents were non-believers, but still prayed Allah (swt) would guide them to His way and instill the truth of Islam into their hearts.

Small frame clad in a bright red, beaded hijab and simple, black abaya, her soft-spoken demeanor was in contrast with the acceptance and resolute conviction in her eyes and tone. There was a glow to her pale skin, and when she smiled speaking of her experiences, her face lit up brighter than the Ramadan lights we used for decorating this time of year.

Subhanallah.

It struck me that being born into the faith can actually be a handicap for those of us who are Muslim by birth in the sense that we oftentimes take it for granted. We probably cannot appreciate the beauty of our religion as much as someone who views it with a fresh pair of eyes. I think many of us can probably learn quite a bit from this young lady. 

May Allah (swt) make the path to the sirat-ul mustaqeem an easy one for this bright, beautiful, and determined sister.

----

9/13:

completed Juz 24

Chapter 39: Surah Az-Zumar Verses 32-75

Chapter 40: Surah Ghafir Verses 1-85

Chapter 41: Surah Fussilat Verses 1-46

completed Juz 25

Chapter 41: Surah Fussilat Verses 47-54

Chapter 42: Surah Ash-Shurah Verses 1-53

Chapter 43: Surah Az-Zukhruf Verses 1-89

Chapter 44: Surah Ad-Dhukun Verses 1-59

Chapter 45: Surah Al-Jathiah Verses 1-37

Ramadan 1430: Day 22 (Sept 12th)

9/12:

completed Juz 23

Chapter 36: Surah Yaseen Verses 28-83 

Chapter 37: Surah As-Saffaat Verses 1-182

Chapter 38: Surah Sad Verses 1-88

Chapter 39: Surah Az-Zumar Verses 1-31 

Ramadan 1430: Day 21 (Sept 11th)

9/11:

completed Juz 22

Chapter 33: Surah Al-Azhab Verses 31-73

Chapter 34: Surah Saba Verses 1-54

Chapter 35: Surah Fatir Verses 1-45

Chapter 36: Surah Yaseen Verses 1-27

Ramadan 1430: Day 20 (Sept 10th)

And if all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean were ink, with seven oceans behind it to add to its supply, yet would not the words of Allah be exhausted in the writing; for Allah is Exalted in Power, full of Wisdom. [Qur'an 31:27]

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9/10:

completed Juz 21

Chapter 29: Surah Al-Ankabut Verses 46-69

Chapter 30: Surah Ar-Rum Verses 1-60

Chapter 31: Surah Luqman Verses 1-34

Chapter 32: Surah As-Sajda Verses 1-30

Chapter 33: Surah Al-Azhab Verses 1-30

Ramadan 1430: Day 19

The parable of those who take guardians besides Allah is as of the parable of the spider that makes for itself a house; and most surely the frailest of houses is the spider's house, did they but know. [Qur'an 29:41]

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9/9:

completed Juz 20

Chapter 27: Surah An-Nami Verses 56-93

Chapter 28: Surah Al-Qasas Verses 1-88

Chapter 29: Surah Al-Ankabut Verses 1-45

I am against them, for I am devoted only to the Lord of the universe. The One Who created me, and guided me. The One who feeds me and waters me. And when I get sick, He heals me. The One who puts me to death, then brings me back to life. The One who hopefully will forgive my sins on the Day of Judgment. My Lord, grant me wisdom, and include me with the righteous. Let the example I set for the future generations be a good one. Make me of the inheritors of Paradise. [Qur'an 26:77-85]

Almost in the last ten days... where is the time going? Subhanallah...

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9/9:

completed Juz 19

Chapter 25: Surah Al-Furqan Verses 21-77

Chapter 26: Surah Ash-Shu'ara Verses1-227

Chapter 27: Surah An-Naml Verses 1-55

Ramadan 1430: Day 18

People of the scripture, Our messenger has come to you to proclaim for you many things you have concealed in the scripture, and to pardon many transgressions you have committed. A beacon has come to you from God, and a profound scripture. With it, God guides those who seek His approval. He guides them to paths of peace, leads them out of darkness into the light by His leave, and guides them in a straight path. [Qur'an 5:15-16]

Sometimes I'm convinced there are guardian angels watching over me. When I do the right thing, my life automatically becomes easier... everything simply falls into place; and when I start to slip, the rightness begins to unravel. 

I used to wonder if this was psychological or imagined, but I've tried and tested my theory, and its proven true. I take it as a blessing, and a sign. Alhamdullilah.. He sends us so many signs.. we only have to but pay attention. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWa3n0CjHiE&feature=related

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9/8:

completed Juz 18

Chapter 23: Surah Al-Mu'minoon Verses 1-118

Chapter 24: Surah An-Nur Verses 1-64

Chapter 25: Surah Al-Furqan Verses 1-20

Ramadan 1430: Day 17

One day a student asked his teacher: Is there any proof for life after death? 

His teacher replied: Look at the tree in your garden for one year. There you will find your answer. 

~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSInvpSwFRU&feature=related

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9/7:

completed Juz 17

Chapter 21: Surah Al-Anbiya Verses 1-112

Chapter 22: Surah Al-Hajj Verses 1-78

If you give charity openly then it is a good thing; and if you give it in secret it is better for you than everything, and He will remove some of your sins. And Allah is Aware of what you do. [Qur'an 2:271]

O believers! Void not your charities by boasting of your favours conferred and injuring, like him who spent his wealth for show to people, and believes not in Allah and Last Day. Then the example of him is like that of a smooth rock on which is dust of earth; now a heavy rain fell upon it leaving it a bare stone. They shall have no control on anything of what they have earned and Allah guides not the infidels. [Qur'an 2: 264]

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFr-l0_Rs8g&feature=related

Charity/sadaqa is emphasized throughout the Qur'an. But when people give, why do they boast of how much they gave? If it is a competition let it be a competition only of winning the favor or Allah (swt).. Give for His sake, not to raise our esteem in other's opinions.